Martyna Eder

Abiding in uncertainty

It’s the end of the world as we know it- and we don’t feel fine. Desperately clinging to the known and comfortable is a very human thing to do, and I guess in one way or the other we all got hooked by that, lately. A lot of people lost their livelihood, loves ones- or even their own lives and it’s important to acknowledge that. A lot of primordial fear has been triggered and maybe we are just experiencing a global collective emotion. Which is an interesting thing, when it comes to spiritual practice, because in some way we are all having the same or a similar emotional experience, regardless of how different we are, or we think we are.
Being able to relate to the suffering of others is the first step when it comes to practicing compassion, which again is the first step to spiritual awakening. We are stuck with ourselves, many ways of distraction have been taken away from us and something in wants to immediately react like a kid whose toys have been taken away. With defiance and despair we are trying to find somebody to blame and we are becoming most creative in finding ways to distract us in the same way as we usually do, but in new ways. We consume, we post, we like and dislike and we want to “self improve” by totally bypassing to even briefly be with the self we want to improve.
This is a chance for us to lean into our fears rather than eternally running away from them and this is the chance for us to intimately get to know our tendencies and structures.
Opening up to our anxiety and our suffering is very courageous act, but also a most necessary one. If we show up for this challenge and if we take the chance to abide with all these raw and primordial emotions this crisis has triggered in basically all of us, we have the chance to not only practice compassion for ourselves, but for everybody. If I feel lonely and anxious, chances are that a large number of other beings feel the same way, too. By opening up to my own feelings and by softening rather than closing down, I will be able to expand this softness and openness to others, too.
Maybe the world has sent us to our rooms to deal with ourselves so that at some point we will finally be ready to deal with others in a compassionate and kind way.
Because how we treated other beings brought us here in the first place.
And it’s the same thing that can bring us out.

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